The 10 Strangest Habits I’ve Developed Since My Eczema Started

I admit these are really, really strange, habits I’ve developed since my eczema started. They’re 10 of the many reasons this blog is anonymous. I’m certainly not proud of any of these strange habits.

Here we go…

#1: Hand Envy

I never noticed so many other people’s hands before I had eczema. I find myself not admiring other women’s engagement rings or jewelry, but rather the smooth, healthy-looking skin on their hands. It’s not red or purple, or cut from nails scratching at it. It’s not swollen or wrinkly. It must be nice to shake hands with those hands, as opposed to mine.

#2: Brushing Skin Off the Bed

Every morning, and sometimes in the middle of the night, I ferociously brush the skin off of my bed. Sometimes when I wake up, it looks like someone grated hard parmesan in the middle of the night. It’s that extensive, and it’s that gross. A pile of skin inevitably develops on the floor next to my bed, so I’ve also developed a strange habit of sweeping and vacuuming very often due to eczema. I guess that’s one silver lining to this disease – cleaner floors.

#3: Scratching Over Dark Surfaces

This strange “eczema habit” is even weirder than the first two. I think it may officially qualify me as crazy. I have no idea why, but I much prefer to scratch over dark surfaces (e.g. a phone that is locked and off, and therefore black, a dark colored wood floor or tile, etc.) or well-lit surfaces, over all others. This is because I can see the skin falling off as I scratch (crazy, I know).

Perhaps I enjoy this subconsciously because it’s as if I can see myself making “progress”? It’s as if this makes me feel “productive” or something. Trust me, I realize how absolutely bonkers this one sounds. This is related to another very strange thing I do now, which is scratching for probably 1-2 minutes after removing my clothes or changing clothes. This is particularly satisfying after removing leggings. For some reason, the sensations of constant contact of clothes, then the friction of removing them, cause itching sensations. So I scratch, for many minutes.

#4: Picking, at Everything

I never used to be a picker. Picking at scabs, hangnails, etc. felt repulsive. I couldn’t understand why anyone would want to pick something off of their body that was part of the normal healing process. This just short circuits the system, right? I now know how deeply satisfying it can be to pick off half-healed skin, scabs, literally anything on the body. Somehow, it does not repulse me anymore, but rather I’m strangely satisfied by it. I’m also somewhat obsessed with picking the dry skin from under my fingernails after I’ve scratched. All very gross. Trust me, I know.

#5: Plucking Skin Off My Partner (And Other Things)

The first part of this strange habit is reasonable because I seem to be constantly surrounded by a cloud of skin. I seem to get it on anyone I stand within a foot of. This is now so bad that my partner thought he was developing dandruff, but it turned out the flakes in his head were actually just from sharing a bed with me. In my absence, he doesn’t notice the flakes. I think I’m hypersensitive to noticing those little specks of skin on others now, and I unconsciously pick them off family members and close friend’s clothes, computer screens, etc., etc. Thank goodness I’ve not started picking them off the people I sit next to on airplanes – I also get a ton of skin on whichever leg and arm of theirs is closest to me in our seating arrangement. Poor people.

What’s gotten way out of hand in terms of “strange eczema habits” is my proclivity to pick at other things on other people I’m close with. For example, I’ve become obsessed at picking those eye boogers out of my partner’s eyes, or ensuring he does. If he ever has a dry patch of skin anywhere (he has pretty oily skin, so this is rare), my immediate instinct is to peel it all off. These are unfortunate developments.

#6: Identifying Lotion Brands by Smell

This one’s just sad. I’ve developed the ability to identify “unfragranced”/’fragrance-free” lotions by smell. I realized this in Las Vegas of all places. I was in Vegas for a bachelorette party. Vegas (and Phoenix and similar desert-y places) is hell for anyone with flaky eczema given the dry climate. The Strip in Vegas is actually OK from other perspectives, though, because most of the time you’re in dark places and so your eczema is less noticeable.

I’d run out of lotion at this particular outing, as per usual, and the gift shop only had terrible, scented varieties, so my friend offered to let me use some of hers, which was in a standard re-usable lotion bottle for travel. The tube was tiny. It probably could have lasted her weeks, but I could have easily used it in just one sitting, on just my lower arms.

She wanted to make sure it wouldn’t make me breakout (breakout further, that is) so had me smell It since she couldn’t remember what it was. I immediately identified it as Vanicream (the lotion, not the ointment), and she confirmed. What a sad skill to have developed.

#7: Driving with My elbows

I’m definitely not proud of this one either, and it’s probably illegal, too. There have been times when I’ve had to drive with my elbows because my arms are so itchy I have to stop and scratch them every 10 seconds and cannot possibly continue functioning otherwise. Driving with your elbows frees up your fingernails to do the scratching. Again, I would not recommend picking up any of these strange habits.

#8: Unconscious Night Scratching

This is by definition an unconscious habit, because I do it when I’m sleeping. So cut me some slack! A trusted source (my husband) tells me that when I’m sleeping sometimes, I kick up my legs, straight in the air, so my legs are perpendicular to the bed, and scratch vigorously behind my legs. This of course removes the covers from both of us. Do I wake up when this happens? Am I already awake or in what feels like a constant, cloudy daze controlled by thoughts of eczema? I’m not sure, but it’s apparently quite disruptive to my husband. And clearly my own sleep quality is poor, too.

#9: Making Crazy Claims and Asking Sad Questions, Aloud

I suppose this particular eczema habit sounds a little depressing, doesn’t it? I’ve tried so hard to get to the root cause of my eczema. I have so many questions, and I’ve had so many postulations over these many months. Why did it get so bad? When will it go away? Will it ever go away? Wow I’m itchy!! It seems better today?! Telling myself (and others) when my skin is flying off at 1,000 flakes per minute – oh, it’s healing!

My consciousness has become a never-ending stream of these questions and thoughts about eczema, and I’ve started to ask them aloud, too, in what probably feels like a very melodramatic way to the average onlooker.

#10: Not Washing Hands (I Know.)

This is probably more dangerous than driving with my elbows. I’ve developed a strange eczema habit of basically not washing my hands unless I absolutely must. I am well aware of the risks of this and how gross it is, but the pain of washing and rubbing at the cracks of my hands outweighs the desire to avoid other disease, frankly. This was true even during the COVID-19 pandemic (though it must be said that I’m an otherwise healthy, young twenty to thirty something who’s received three COVID vaccinations and one booster at the time of this post…and had mild COVID 3 times).

The thought of using hand sanitizer makes me physically cringe. (But having someone else squirt hand sanitizer on it is even worse – more on that here).

What about showering?

I also shower as little as possible because while I absolutely love being in the shower or bath (it’s truly become my happy place, and it’s the only time my skin feels “moisturized”), I hate the dry feeling afterwards and the inevitable itchiness from being covered in a puddle of greasy lotion afterwards. I think this likely stems from the slight friction of rubbing the lotion in rather than from the lotion itself, though. (The release from the dryness that the lotion provides is, of course, excellent).

I’ve tried quitting lotion, but he inevitable itchiness from skin that’s so dry it cracks every time I move, is very bad. Quitting lotion is a thing the internet, and some books, seem to think will cure eczema. I so envy the people who say “I don’t like the feel of lotion, so I don’t use it.” That’s simply not possible for me.

Have you found yourself doing any of these as you cope with eczema? If so, please leave a comment or send me an email. I’d love to know I’m not as crazy as I feel. Or at least, I’m not the only one who’s this crazy.

Happy Scratching.